The owner of this blog is taking a toilet break.

Go visit http://www.chanlilian.net if you have nothing else to read.

Since that Bala retracted part of his original SD, the joke of the Indian and the snake have been circulating amongst blogs in Malaysia.

“If you have a gun with one bullet, would you shoot the Indian or the snake?” The answer is the Indian. Because in Malaysia, they tell a lot of Indian stories. Meaning they like to twist and turn their stories like the infamous Lingam’s ‘correct, correct, correct’.

So, “If you have a gun with TWO bullets, would you shoot the Indian and the snake?” The answer is still NO because I will shoot the Indian TWICE !!!

Sorry for sounding like a racist but the Indian here applies only to BALA and LINGAM and maybe SAMY. Bwahahaha!!!

The price hike was inevitable since the price of crude oil is soaring. Our Mr. Abdullah Bodohwi decided to cut expenses to curb the rise in petrol price.

Via The Star online:

Monday June 9, 2008 MYT 8:39:10 PM

Govt announces cost-cutting measures

By MAZWIN NIK ANIS & SIM LEOI LEOI

PUTRAJAYA: Ministers’ and deputy ministers’ entertainment allowances will be slashed and their paid holidays limited to local and Asean destinations in a cost-cutting move that will save the Government RM2bil this year.

Even the Prime Minister and his deputy will not be spared this new ruling, which takes effect on July 1.

The Prime Minister currently enjoys a monthly entertainment allowance of RM18,865 while his deputy gets RM15,015. Other ministers and deputy ministers are given RM12,320 and RM6,000, respectively.

For the paid holidays, Cabinet members will not be allowed to claim for more than a week’s holiday.

Premier Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi said these measures “would not be the first and the last; many other announcements will be made by the Government”.

“The savings will be channelled to subsidies for low-income groups,” he said after chairing the first National Inflation Council meeting at his office here on Monday. “We are sensitive to the hardship faced by the people as a result of the recent increase in fuel prices.

“Everybody will have to be thrifty in these difficult times, including the Government. Therefore, we are taking these measures to ensure administrative expenses are spent wisely. We have to show leadership by example.”

Other measures announced are a freeze on new government posts and the purchase of assets like cars, furniture and computers, limiting the number of workshops, seminars and conferences held at hotels, and postponing all renovation works for government offices.

The Prime Minister also ordered that maintenance works of government premises be carried out optimally so as to reduce costs and energy use.

The Government will also cut down on the number of functions like the opening of offices, prize presentations as well as disallow attire specifically made for an event.

“There is no point for a special attire because it’s wasteful. There is no need to wear attire with special logos. Later, you will just hang it up and treat it like a keepsake. It suffices to just wear your name tag,” Abdullah said.

“In line with this, a 10% cut will be imposed on expenses within departments. Much of the cut will involve promotional and campaign activities. However, the real amount has yet to be determined by the Treasury.”

Abdullah added that Treasury would issue a warrant once this amount had been ascertained.

The measures became effective Monday in a circular issued by the Treasury to all agencies and departments.

The freeze on new posts, however, does not cover critical sectors like education, health and enforcement, and those dealing with the delivery of public services and capable of increasing the country’s revenue.

Restructuring of agencies and departments will also be put off, except if this is to reduce workers or which does not involve the creation of new posts.

Official overseas trips will be limited to important international or inter-governmental meetings, with not more than three officers sent, and even then only those directly involved.

Niamah!!! Most of the rakyat worked day and night, paid their taxes and NEVER in their life went on a holiday. This incentive should be abolished with immediate effect. Let’s not forget its the rakyat’s money.

All cost cutting measures should have been done first and the last resort would be the lifting of the fuel subsidy. Simply because if fuel price rises, so are things associated with it, which is almost everything. Why is Mr. Abdullah doing it the other way round? Suka main belakang?

Mr. Abdullah, most of the rakyat including me, have little education. Please enlighten us since you were put in charge of our country, you must be a learned person.

We don’t know why as an oil producing country, we do not enjoy fully subsidized fuel prices. We don’t know where our monies from our road tax, income tax, service tax, excise duty from ‘overpriced’ vehicles, cigarettes and alcohol, assessment and whatever goddamnyouniamah taxes went to.

We don’t know why you bought some submarines, jet fighters and sent a moron to space as a passenger and lied to the whole country that he was an astronaut using tax payers’ monies. We don’t know why we have to pay toll for using highways since we already pay so many goddamnyouniamah taxes. We don’t know why you do not allow the school buses to raise the price of their services when you raised the price of fuel. School buses run on water ar? We also don’t know why others say how you could afford to buy a jet plane, a yacht and a bungalow down under. Are we paying you what they are paying BG Lee?

Really, there are many more things we do not know. Do you mind telling us?

Would you rather be a Hands-on mother or would you rather leave your baby with a babysitter?

I was at a relative’s last week whom is a babysitter. She had in her care a 4 months old baby boy. That baby boy was left in her care because his daddy had to work and his mother couldn’t manage him alone. How could a mother not be able to take care of her own child? Isn’t it a natural instinct kind of thing?

I became a father almost 6 months ago. At first I didn’t know anything. Through the months, I learned to change the diaper, bottle feed, change clothes, etc. It was done and learned all out of love.

Back to this baby boy. His daddy will drop him off at the babysitter at 8 am. He is not cleaned. He is still wearing the same set of clothes the day before, before he left for home from the babysitter’s. Without fail, his diaper will be full of shit when the babysitter bathes him at 9 am. Probably he is in the same diaper the day before. He has this rash all over his body especially at the neck and groin area. The babysitter said that it is probably because he was not cleaned when he is home at night. His father will pick him up at 7pm without fail everyday. He also spends the day at the babysitter even though his parents are at home.

I pity the baby boy. How could a parent do such a thing. How can a parent neglect his/her own child? It seems the baby boy was not even breast fed a single time.

My wife decided to become a full time mother and quit her job when our baby arrived. She has been breast feeding since day one. I miss my baby when I am at work and have now decided to work from home instead. We just want to be close to our baby. Its a feeling which words cannot describe.

Woi! If YOU are reading this, be more responsible lah. If a baby is ever a burden to YOU. Put on a condom next time lah. Apparently, they had a shot-gun wedding.

I was at a MPH Bookstore this morning looking at some books. Suddenly, my baby started crying. So we went to the children books section to look at some books and try to cheer her up a little. Then came this man and gave me that stare. The ‘please be quiet’ librarian stare.

So I moved to another section with the baby still crying. He then appear again and gave me the stare.

Tiu niamah!!! You were also once a baby and you also cried. Secondly, MPH is not a library. You want peace and quiet, go to a farking library. MPH is a bookstore where they sell books.

Please learn to differentiate between a library and a bookstore. And don’t farking give me the stare. I have a Glock underneath the stroller. Niamah!!!

Mummy, it has been 13 years since you were gone. We miss you dearly. I am a parent now myself. Now I fully understand and know what is the true meaning of the unconditional love you gave and the sacrifices you made.

Life’s been great so far. I would still trade all the inheritance you gave to me just to have you here with me. Love and miss you dearly.

Your dearest son.

P.s. Wei, its been a long time since you let me strike 1st prize in 4D leh. Thanks for the last two 1st prizes. Lets make it more exciting this time. Tomorrow I go buy BIG Sweep. Ok? Thank you.

To all the mothers, Happy Mother’s Day. Everyday should be Mother’s day.

You know you are fucked when the wife happily gives you RM435 worth of Jusco vouchers and laughed the whole day.

It is J Card Members’ Day at Jusco Bandar Puchong today. For every RM100, you are entitled to a RM10 voucher. Adoi! Sakit!!! Sigh.

Trust ASTRO to upgrade their smartcards without clear instructions. All they do is send you the replacement card and ask you to slot it in. Simple? You can never go wrong. Yes if you have only one decoder.

Woi!!! Niamah lu!!! I have three. Your instruction leaflet nor your contents in your POS EKSPRES did not tell which card is to replace which. After calling the toll free customer service number and waited for 10 minutes until someone picked up and ran me through the process, let yours truly guide you through how to upgrade the smartcard if you have more than one decoder with different packages. Do not simply slot in the cards if you have different packages on different decoders. You will be frustrated because they won’t send you all the cards at the same time and you might be left hanging not being able to watch Maria Sharapova moan on your sports channel or Shebby telling you the wrong scores.

The secret is in the POS EKSPRES cardboard envelope. At the bottom after your name and address, there is a box written SMC. The 1st set of numbers indicates your current smartcard number and the 2nd set of numbers indicates the new smartcard number. Make sure you have the right card for the right decoder and shove it in. Press OK and wait for the bugger to AUTO UPDATE. Simple isn’t it?

ASTRO, pandai pandai sikit lah. You can do better than that. Make more user friendly instructions lah. There are people whom have decoders in the bathroom lah. How to pass time when I am in the jacuzzi or enjoying my time on the throne??? What lah you!!!

This is a community service brought to you by terenceloh.com because ASTRO didn’t. Thank you.

In 1992, an famous artist visited Malaysia and was commissioned by yours truly to do a painting. He was paid RM5,000.00 for his work.

Present day. Received a call from Hong Kong. A collector is interested in that piece and had offered RMB2.5m for it. The artist no longer paints because age has caught up with him.

Question. What would you do?

• Even without the RMB2.5m, life will still very very good.
• The price of the painting might go up in the next few years.
• 16 years was a farking long time for an investment.
• Calculation tells you no bank can ever give you that kind of returns.

Your views please. First Class Flight to Hong Kong in 48 hours. Thank you.

EDIT: Probably the above story is hard to believe or I have no readers, hence, the poor response. Nevertheless, decision was made to keep the painting.

I started playing snooker back in my school days many many many years ago. I started play competitively 10 years ago. Now, I have stopped playing for more than 2 years. Actually this post is for my friends who keep and keep and keep asking me why I stopped playing. Hope this clears your suspicions and whatsoever enquiries you have. Here goes;

• Most of you don’t know I played competitively. I was ‘fishing’ with you guys all the while. Thanks for all the wagers you lost. It could have been worse.
• I didn’t play for the National Team. I played the National Team and they lost.
• I played some Pros in the UK circuit as well.
• My average break is 30-50 consistently.
• I did the 147 in practice. Six times.
• I did countless century breaks during normal play.
• I am banned from playing in most local competitions.
• The most ‘expensive’ wager was RM200 for a point. So playing with you guys for RM1-RM5 a point was err… pointless.
• My snooker cue was custom-made with the best wood available, made to measure for my height and style of play.
• My parents got me a snooker table at home.
• And the best of all is, I paid JW to train me.

Thank you for the great times and for the thousands you guys lost, this weekend I belanja you ah kuas guys dinner lah. Maybe we can shoot some 9 ball after dinner. That would be another story. Bwahahahaha!!!