I love to pang sai

There I was having my breakfast of pork ball noodles in my favourite restaurant near where I live. Suddenly there was a crowd that came into the restaurant and made a lot of noise. Patrons standing up and greeting someone lah.

Me being me, can’t be bothered when I am having a meal. You know like when you are pestered by those DaMaiCai lottery ticket vendors, DVD vendors or those fake monks and nuns? I didn’t even bothered to look up and just waved my chopsticks asking them to go away.

Suddenly there was silence. I look up and saw a group of BN campaigners with the MP candidate staring down at me. Me being me again, looked down at my bowl of pork balls noodles and continued eating again. The were ‘hanged’ standing there like a PC without sufficient RAMs and moved on when their RAMs recovered.

Niamah lu! 4 years plus you didn’t even had a Teh Tarik at the shop and now you want to go around showing your face fishing for votes???

We want someone to represent us, stand up for us, to understand our problems and to solve them. Not get elected, get richer, enjoy all the luxury and neglect us.

We don’t need you to officiate an event, we don’t need you for an opening ceremony, we just want you do what is best for us, the Rakyat, the ones that voted for you. We chose you, we hired you, you work for us. When you see us, you bow to us. We pay your salary. It is as simple as that. Yes it is.

Next time, don’t bother me again when I am having a meal.

1. BERSIH march - NO!
2. Hindraf march - NO!
3. BERSIH at Parliament - NO!
4. Human Rights Day march - NO!

MAYBAN - YES! Almost every lunch hour working day nationwide.

WHY?!!? FARK! NIAMAH!!!

Why do Malaysian drivers like to cross the traffic light intersection knowing the other side is jammed up and stop in the ‘yellow box’!!??

I was driving to a certain destination and the above happened at one of the many traffic light intersections. They was this malay dude in his RM25k Proton Iswara blocking traffic because he was stuck in the middle of the ‘yellow box’. So everyone on the same path as me had to squeeze into ONE lane to cross the intersection. Many were ‘tulan’ with this dude and started blaring their horns.

But guess what? This malay dude was staring straight in front but had his middle finger up. WTF!!! Sudah salah, insaflah.

Well, prolly he thinks the world owes him a living. Thats the mentality of these dudes. MALAYsia mah. MALAYsia boleh!! Not.

Keep it up dude!!! Hope that will be the only car you can afford to own in your lifetime.

When credit card sales personnel wants you to sign up for a card, they promise you heaven and earth, free membership, free fucks gifts and rebates. Those parasites will drag you by the sleeves sometimes and are even worse than beggars. They beg you to sign up as though you don’t need to repay the sum of money you swipe with the credit cards. Free membership lah, not free credit card. Niamah!

These beggars get between RM20 to RM100 depending of which type of cards they manage to con you to sign up for. They stand around in a shopping mall sometimes for 10 hours a day. The only qualification you need is a pathetic face and the ability to beg. Most school leavers will be lured into the job because the banks tell them they can make a gross five figure income. Its true but that would be one in every thousand I assume.

Do you actually know these beggars have to pay upfront rental for a space in the shopping mall with their own money? Only the major events/launching in shopping malls concourses are paid by the banks. So its like renting a space not knowing whether your commissions will even cover for your rental. Oh, and they only get their commission if the applications are SUCCESSFUL. They do not get paid for rejected applications.

Now we come to the salary part. When the banks pay their commission, they get for example RM8,000.00 gross. This in Malaysia, is subjected to tax, income tax. I am no accountant but I guess you have to pay quite a hefty amount. After deducting taxes, you will have to deduct the money you pay for the rental space at the shopping mall (which is not cheap). At the end of all deductions (meals, fuels, parking), probably you get to take home RM2,000.00. That is if you farking get RM8,000.00 in commission. RM8,000.00 is about 160 SUCCESSFUL applications basing on RM50 you get per application. If you work everyday, 10 hours a day, 30 days a month, you need an average of 5 a day. You don’t have a life then.

Most of them will never achieve this figure. Even if they do, they won’t be able to maintain this for the following months. How many of you actually sign up with them when you see them at shopping malls? I don’t. I hate them! And when they realise they have been conned working, they leave. They go for an interview, employers asks about their experience, they then realise they have NONE. Begging is not considered experience.

So, Terence here is doing you a favour by pointing you to the right career path. If you ever want to be a credit card Sales Personnel, DON’T! Its better to be a beggar, you make more money at a pasar malam and the working hours are definitely shorter, no income tax and no need to pay for space rental.

And for people like me, we don’t need to apply, we are invited. Thank you.

I have a bumper sticker on my WRX that says ‘Mama on board‘ with a picture of a woman with a big belly indicating that the woman is pregnant.

The roads leading to my mansion have lots of those speed bumps (they built them there probably because of my ‘flying finishes’ on my way home). For the uninformed, speed bumps or speed breakers are to make you slow your vehicle down.

I was fetching my wife home after lunch today and was driving thru the speed bumps slowly. Then came another vehicle which was tailgating me closely. He could have overtaken me but he chose to tailgate and pressed his horn urging me to go faster.

Come on lah, don’t know how to read ar? Pregnant lady on board leh. I guess he did what he did because he wanted revenge. His brains were damaged when his mother was carrying him in her womb while his father was driving thru speed bumps without slowing down. Niamah lu!!!

* For the uninformed again, the Subaru WRX eats lots of other high performance cars for breakfasts, lunches and some say dinners*

Today is the official birthday of the Sultan of Selangor, and those working in Selangor gets the day off. So, thinking that half the Klang valley population is on leave, I left my mansion slightly later for work. Boy, was I wrong. Massive jam all the way to KL. My office is in Bangsar and it took me 2 hours to get there. Normally it takes 20 minutes in my WRX.

You know why!!!! Because the Police decided close all roads leading to the Parliament building because of some Hindraf Bersih (thanks, guys. See? that is how UNinformed the public is with the traffic jam)thingy. I have no comments on Hindraf’s Bersih’s objectives but can the Police close the roads just like that??? Woi!, I pay road tax you know. And please inform the road users if you plan to close the roads. We have the RIGHT to know then maybe I go in the office after lunch or maybe not at all.

If you farkers allowed them to hand in whatever Memorandum they wanted earlier, the issue do not have to be dragged so long. Hindraf Bersih did not caused the jam and inconveniences, YOU did!!!! Niamah!!!

I am going home to my jacuzzi. Ptui!!!

Niamah! Normal humans need to consume food to survive. Humans consume about 3-5 meals a day. Simple, you feel hungry, you eat or you have a specific timing for breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner or supper.

Celaka! When you bring you MIL (if you are married lah) out for a meal, out of respect, you ask her “what do you wish to eat ar?“. The answer I ALWAYS get is “chin chai lah“. Niamah! Got such thing as ‘chin chai‘ ar? It never fails, every meal outings ends up with the same answer.

Then, shit doesn’t end here. In the restaurant, when the waiter/waitress ask what drinks/beverages she wants, she will hesitate, look for the fridge where they keep the cold drinks, look at other patrons what they are having then only order. Cibai! How many farking type of drinks are there lah!!!!

If the food was good then she will shut her mouth after the meal. If not, it will be “Why didn’t you bring us to this or that place?”

See? What they say is true. MILs are from hell!! Tiu! Enjoy your weekend, whatever is left of it.

*Chin Chai (Cantonese) = Whatever.

*MIL = Monster Mother in law

You came out of the side road without stopping to look. I nearly crashed into you. I pressed my horn at you. You didnt like the horning. You stopped your car by the side challenging me to stop as well. I stopped. You showed me the finger and was cussing behind your closed window (MORON, cannot hear lah) You challenged me to come out of my car. I did. I came out with my baseball bat. Your face turned pale when you saw I was over six feet tall and over 200 pounds of brute. You apologised profusely. You must have pee-ed in your pants.

NEXT TIME, PLAY NICE because you dont know who is behind those tinted glass. You were lucky I didnt have my ‘RUSTY’ friends with me. We could have overturned your mode of transport.